your thong is hanging out like whoa
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
