super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
