We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
cat food counts as protein by the way
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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