Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
