when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
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