so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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