I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
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