Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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