He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
