okay pat passed out under dana's car
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
