She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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