Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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