I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
