Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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