yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
40s are totally the cure
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
