Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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