aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
