She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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