I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
