I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
