me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
