I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Randomize
