He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
