just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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