We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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