hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Come on in and take your pants off
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