Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
