omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
