im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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