Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
