He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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