I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
