I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
