I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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