im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
