Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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