You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
