laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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