I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
