I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Terrible idea I love it
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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