Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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