i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
