Its about making memories worth repressing
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
