3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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