look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
