me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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