If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
