I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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