"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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