Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
