Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
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