Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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